Facebook has greatly affected how relationships both in the real world and virtual. Facebook has both advantages and disadvantages for intimate relationships. It allows a couple to communicate openly and privately. Features such as relationship statuses, status updates, photo albums, online friends, and online communications all have impacted intimate relationships. Facebook in many ways impacts how relationships today are looked at and influenced. Moreover, gender seems to affect how facebook is looked at. In today’s ever growing technological society, facebook has embedded itself in the changing norms of relationships.
Different features influence relationships and how relationships are looked at in different ways. The relationship status on facebook is a feature that changes the way relationships are looked at. The relationship status on facebook publically tells the facebook community if a person is single, in a relationship, in an open relationship, and more. Furthermore, the relationship status, if one chooses, can say who one is in the relationship with. One of my interviewees said, “If its not facebook official, its not official.” Some people believe that a facebook relationship is the final step in making an intimate relationship “official.” Others, however, stray away from making it facebook public because a relationship status has no meaning to them. Many people I interviewed said that their status did not mean anything and most of the time they were in “joke” relationships with their best friend. Moreover, some said that facebook relationship statuses put pressure on the relationship. One of my interviewees said, “a relationship status makes it public, that means people know when you get together with someone and when you break up. It makes it hard.” The pressure of having all your friends know when a relationship is made or has failed is hard on some the people I interviewed. Although the relationship status adds pressure, many of the people I interviewed believe that a facebook relationship status is not necessary for a legitimate relationship. In fact, many of the interviewees said that a couple could have a successful and meaningful relationship without having their relationship status on facebook changed.
Facebook has some advantages for intimate relationships that actively use it. First, facebook allows the couple to communicate at most times. The wall-to-wall and private messages allow for a couple to publically and privately keep in contact and show affection. Furthermore, it allows for a long distance couple to feel as if they are close. A long distance couple can still feel close to one another if they are constantly sharing their experiences through conversation and pictures. Also, facebook keeps a record of the photos a couple has taken and conversations they have had. One interviewee said, “Facebook is like a scrapbook for a relationship.” A couple could always go on facebook and reminisce about places they have been to or remember inside jokes they once had.
On the other hand, facebook has some disadvantages for intimate relationships as well. Facebook, according to some of the interviewees, almost takes privacy and personal space away. Facebook, in some cases does not let a couple keep things from their partner because of the newsfeed and the public nature of facebook. Moreover, the newsfeed causes problems for some couples. According to an interviewee, “The newsfeed can cause jealousy and other types of problems.” Many of the people I interviewed said that their partner could interpret things on facebook the wrong way. Some couples have to watch what goes on the newsfeed, whom they talk to, or whom they befriend in fear of their partner’s reaction. Some couples go as far as un-tagging themselves in photographs or keeping events secret from their partner. Some said that they hid things on facebook to prevent their partner finding out they did things they were not supposed to be doing.
Facebook has also added a new layer to the already complex idea of relationships. More specifically, it adds a virtual level that takes a relationship beyond the real world. For example, a couple may keep real world secrets from one another. Facebook adds another level and now couples can keep secrets on facebook from each other. Moreover, a couple’s privacy level changes with facebook. The public view of a couple is enhanced because of the public nature of facebook. In addition, privacy within the couple has changed as well. Some people I interviewed have claimed they share their passwords with their significant other. Although many say that it wasn’t to spy but purely out of courtesy to their mate.
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